2006 Nicknames

Last year, I gave you “Obi Wang.” So, I decided to throw out some nominations now for nicknames to use this season, with the hope that some of them stick.

Jorge “Bare Hands” Posada

I’ve always thought this should be Jorge’s handle – considering that he never wears batting gloves (and uses a homemade hand-toughener).

Jason “Neoprene” Giambi

Let’s face it, the guy needs a wet suit.

Robinson “Tippy” Cano

Works when you pronounce his last name the way that Jeter refers to him.

Alex “Abner” Rodriguez

I always thought A-Rod was too J-Lo-ish. “Abner” fits on many levels – from “thinking you invented the game” to the incredible likeness to the Al Capp creation.

Derek “Cupid” Jeter

Who broke my heart?
You did, you did.
Bow to the target,
Blame Cupid, Cupid.
You think you’re smart,
Stupid, Stupid.
Shoot that poison arrow to my heart,
Shoot that poison arrow.

Hideki “Simba” Matsui

Tough one here – considering that Godzilla is such a cool handle. But, I’m sorry, if you’re going to wear your hair ala’ a late ’70’s Ted Simmons, you’re going to be called Simba by me.

Johnny “Happy” Damon

Only because I think he’s the mental reincarnation of Happy Felsch.

Gary “Shaft” Sheffield

Simply because he’s one bad mother – – shut your mouth!

Bernie “Keanu” Williams

If Telemundo ever does a TV-version of Bill & Ted, Bernie’s gotta get the part as Ted Logan.

I’ll start working on the bench players another day.