This is what I hear every time that Alex Rodriguez is interviewed by Michael Kay:
Kay: We’re happy to have New York Yankees great, multiple MVP Award winner, and future Hall of Famer, Alex Rodriguez with us. Alex, thanks for being on the show!
A-Rod: It’s my pleasure Michael.
Kay: Alex, you’re the greatest player in the game today. You can run, hit, hit with power, and field – do it all – better than any player in the game can do all those things. But, people “boo” you. I don’t get it? You’re the greatest player today – and will be the greatest player ever when you’re done with your career. I wish that I could have ovaries implanted into my body so that I could have your baby, because I think you’re so great. Why does anyone “boo” you?
A-Rod: I’m not sure Michael. I know that I wouldn’t “boo” me.
Kay: Alex, you were the league MVP for the Yankees last year. You had a great ALDS in 2004 against the Twins. You were the A.L. Player of the month for May this year. What’s not to love? If you were a vampire, I would want to be your familiar. Why do people say that you’re not “clutch”?
A-Rod: I’m not sure Michael. I just know that I am the type of player who cares about trying as hard as I can everyday. Whatever happens after that is whatever it is.
Kay: I just don’t get it. I mean, I would want you at the plate in any situation. I would want you anywhere. Are you doing anything for Halloween this year? It would be great if we could “trick or treat” together this year – dressed like a groom and his bride. If you say “yes,” I swear, I can get a wedding dress to fit me by then – I’m not kidding.
A-Rod: I hope to be busy in October. I want to be on a team that wins a World Championship in New York. There’s nothing better that can happen to a player than being on a team that wins in New York.
Kay: I hope you get that ring Alex. You deserve it. You’re a special player. Some day, everyone is going to realize that they’re watching the best player to ever play the game. I know that I will always cherish the position that I’ve been in these years – to watch you everyday. I want to remember it all and tell it to my children and their children some day – that I saw Alex Rodriguez. Heck, if you ever had hemorrhoids, and had them cut off, I would ask you for them – and I would have them added to a necklace to pass down in my family throughout the years. As far as I’m concerned, nothing you do should be lost or forgotten.
A-Rod: Well, Michael, I like to leave it all on the field. I like to think that no one works harder than I do. I’m a grinder. I put in lots of repetitions. I get up early in the morning. Just ask my wife, Cynthia.
Kay: I’m glad that you mentioned Cynthia. She’s so smart – like a lawyer. And, she’s so beautiful – like a fitness model. And, you’re so beautiful too. Do you think that’s why some people resent you?
A-Rod: I’m not sure Michael. That’s a good question.
Kay: Well, thanks for your time Alex. You’re the greatest. I know it. I don’t know why others don’t. Maybe they’ll see it after you’re done? I hope so. No one can play the game as great as you do. You had 3 homers and 10 RBI in just one game! But, some people just see what they want to see, I guess? It’s just awful that you’re not appreciated more.
Am I the only one who hears this each time? Is it just me? Or, is Kay’s A-Rod genuflecting getting so overt that it’s intolerable?