Dealing With Yankees Wins & Losses
Earlier today, I was asked the following question: “Are you able to enjoy Yankee wins?”
Before I answer that, I’m going to take a step back, to a year and a half ago, when some accusations were made towards my “fandom” of the Yankees. At that time, I shared that WasWatching.com prides itself in being “Yankees-blinders and Pinstripe-Pollyanna” free – but, that should not be confused with me not being a fan of the Yankees. And, I hope this new question is not some insinuation that I’m not a Yankees fan, etc.
Anyone who wants to debate or challenge me being a Yankees fan can go can scratch themselves, as far as I’m concerned. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an ardent fan of the Yankees, a zealot, and then some… And, asking me if I’m a fan of the Yankees is like asking if Dolly Parton sleeps on her back – meaning it’s something I view as a rhetorical question since the answer is so obvious that it does not require a reply.
Getting back to “Are you able to enjoy Yankee wins?,” I’ll be honest and share that my answer to that question today is different than it would have been in the past.
When the Yankees lose, I’m not a happy-camper, to say the least. In fact, a Yankees loss is a disturbance to my well-being. After a Yankees loss, to put it bluntly, I’m irritated. When it happens, I find myself anguished. It’s stressing. You know how it’s said that men need a “man cave” to go to when they’re stressed? Well, for me, it’s true. When the Yankees lose, right after it happens, those close to me know that it’s best to leave me alone so that I can go to my “cave” – which, for the last five years has been writing this blog – and work out my perturbation. However, that said, venting via blogging doesn’t always work – and, when the Yankees lose, there are many times when I can’t sleep at night because I’m too upset about it.
I’ve felt this way about Yankees losses since I became a fan of the team in 1973. And, in all these years, it has never changed.
Now, some may say this is not “normal” or “healthy”? And, while I understand that, I would offer that those saying it do not understand what it’s like to “live and die” with a sports team that you fervently follow. It’s just the nature of the beast, as far as I am concerned.
However, my “state” following a Yankees win, as mentioned herein, has changed.
In the past, a Yankees win basically brought on the opposite effect of what would follow a Yankees loss. It’s like Billy Martin once said: “Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls are prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener.” For me, back in the day, like Martin, a Yankees win was a pleasure enhancer.
Remember when Phil Rizzuto announced the death of Pope Paul VI and then said “Well, that kind of puts the damper on even a Yankee win”? Many probably write that off to “Scooter being Scooter.” But, not me – as I understood where Phil was coming from there. A Yankees win, for me, would almost always, somehow, manage to take “the damper” off something…a Yankees win was a natural elixir…unless it was something “major” that not even a Yankees win could fix.
I’ve felt this way about Yankees wins since I became a fan of the team in 1973…until something happened between October 2004 and October 2005. At least that’s when I think it happened? It was after September 2004, for sure. But, maybe it happened between October 2004 and October 2006? It’s possible. I know, for certain, that it didn’t happen after October 2007. So, maybe I should say it happened between October 2004 and September 2007? I dunno…it’s hard to pinpoint…at this junction.
Bascially, I still “enjoy” Yankees wins now because a “win” is not a “loss” – and I still react very badly to Yankees losses. It’s a “positive” in the sense that it’s the absence of a “negative.” However, I no longer derive exhilaration from a Yankees win – the way that I once did in the past.
Why is this? When forced to think about it, the only conclusion I can offer is that the disappointments and pain from the Yankees Octobers of 2004, 2005, and 2006 have caused the build up of a callous on the Yankees pleasure center in my brain…and, instead of making me emotionally hardened and providing an indifference to suffering, it’s brought cause for me to become somewhat non-responsive to Yankees wins…where my reaction is not the same as it used to be… Perhaps, in my mind, thanks to the Yankees regular and post-seasons of 2004 and 2005 (and maybe 2006 too) I now see Yankees regular season wins as a Trojan Horse…in the sense that they are a desirable outcome, but, in fact, they are a trick that facilitates future broken promises and dreams, and the arrival of suffering, down the line when October comes?
Maybe, after the Yankees bad endings in 2004, 2005, 2006, etc., I just need a Yankees World Championship to cleanse my palate, and remove that aforementioned callous… Well, at the least, it couldn’t hurt, right?
In any event, to the question “Are you able to enjoy Yankee wins?,” the answer is: Yes, especially when the alternative is enduring a Yankees loss. However, today, I don’t enjoy them as much as I used to…because, lately, Yankees regular season wins have provided a ring-tease experience which has left me somewhat dulled by the eventual deficiency that follows in Yankeeland.
i feel the same way as you about the team, prior to 2004ish that is…I live for the yankees, no matter what’s going on in my life they are the one constant thing i can look forward to, and it will never change.
i get a feeling that this may be a pandora’s box type post.
I’ve felt this way about Yankees losses since I became a fan of the team in 1973. And, in all these years, it has never changed.
Interesting that you say that, considering you’ve been married and became a father in that timeframe. Quite a few people I know have toned down their fandom a bit since the little ones came on the scene. I know they don’t cuss, hoot and holler and carry on like they used to. Not saying that you do, or even trying to call you out on it (different folks for different strokes and all that), but I find it interesting that your fandom (for lack of a better word) hasn’t changed since ’73
Maybe toned down their fandom may not be the right word, they certainly haven’t become as demonstrative, but that may be something of a “still waters run deep” thing
Thanks for the thoughtful reply, Steve.
I certainly wasn’t questioning your bona fides as a Yankee fan when I asked the question. It was merely a reaction to what I have perceived as a tendency to dwell on the negative.
Your reply in some ways reminds me of Pat Riley’s take on the subject: “There are two things in sports—winning and agony.”
As for myself, wins and losses have far less of an effect on me as I have gotten older and have experienced real, enduring losses of the people I have cared about most in life.
When I was younger, if the Yankees blew a tough game, it might be the first thing I thought about when I awoke in the morning, sometimes asking myself: “Did that really happen?”
Granted, the 2004 ALCS collapse was painful. I think all Yankee fans would feel a lot better about the franchise if they would win another WS ASAP.
But in general, it’s not the losses per se that affect me now, it’s stupid moves, whether it be drafting Kennedy over Bard, or keeping Ransom on the team, and somehow thinking that it would be a good idea to play him at first “freakin” base.
On balance, however, winning is still fun and losing is annoying, but I try to stay positive as long as there is a rational basis for doing so.
Wow. One, two, maybe three consecutive bad post-season performances turned you into a pre-2004 Red Sox fan. All you do is wait for the other shoe to drop.
Not that I am criticizing, 2004 and 2007 didn’t change me from expecting disaster. A lifetime of learned experience and all …
OnceIWasAYankeeFan wrote:
Remind me again…what was it that made you go from being a Yankees fan to becoming a Red Sox fan? Whatever the reason, I’ll “Wow!” right back at you – because, to me, there’s only ONE thing in the world that could EVER make be root for the Red Sox – and that would be if my son someday was drafted and signed to play for them. But, even with THAT, I would not stop rooting for the Yankees.
Maybe “maybe three consecutive bad post-season performances” changed the way I view my team – but, they’re still my team – and that will never change.
Not that I am criticizing, but, I just can’t imagine something making me go from being a Yankees fan, to becoming a Red Sox fan, like you claim that you have…
Raf wrote:
Outwardly, sure, I’ve toned it down. You have to…as you become older, have small kids, etc. But, that doesn’t mean the losses don’t bug the crap out of you and make you want to throw a shoe at the TV in disgust, etc.
Rich wrote:
Trust me, I’ve had those losses too. But, for me, there’s real life and there’s Yankees fandom – meaning that baseball is an escape from real life…so, what happens in real life doesn’t change the way I view/experience baseball. More so, baseball, and the Yankees, are an oasis not “spoiled” by what happens in real life…something like that.
@ Steve Lombardi:
If I wasn’t clear, I didn’t mean to say you changed allegiance but that you changed from a confident Yankee fan into a neurotic, something-bad-is-going-to-happen, pre-2004 Red Sox fan. You act like a pre-2004 Red Sox fan, or like I do even now, as I still cannot believe that they won’t disappoint in the end again.
For the record, I was about 7 or 8 years old. I watched Yankee games on the old black & white tv in my parent’s room. I loved watching Sparky Lyle close, and used to stuff Kraft Caremel squares in my mouth to duplicate his stuffed cheek and tobacco-spit when I struck out the side firing fastballs off of the brick wall. There was no familial connection to the Yankees – the kids were born in Chicago and we were raised as Cub fans – and in 1975 the Red Sox stole and then broke my heart.
And Steve, you really missed it if you actually read it as if I think you are a Red Sox fan. You ACT like a Red Sox fan who is conditioned to expect the worst.
Jeesh.
Rich wrote:
It was, but then you realize it took a perfect storm of events to make it happen; Rivera blowing two saves, umpires conferring on a couple of calls, a couple of bounces here or there…
Anything can happen in a short series, and this was the perfect example. Up 3-0 with Duque, Mussina, Lieber and Brown up you’d think the series is in the bag. Just need to go on a one game winning streak. Up 3-0 with the ball in Rivera’s hands twice, you’d think the series is in the bag. It wasn’t.
Then you look back at all the times the Yanks beat up on Boston, you chalk it up to the law of averages.
Raf wrote:
It had nothing to do with the law of averages ,mate. Mo closes that 4th game , The Yanks go play the Cards. He needed to be lights out and wasn’t. BTW, Foulke didn’t give up a run during that 2004 playoff run. And Mo wasn’t automatic in the 5th game either. Add to that, Torre’s mismanagement in the last three games especially NOT bunting aginst Schill the Shrill. All in all, the Red Sox were the better team in the end. In my eyes, it was more of a comeback than a collapse, BUT Mariano who is deified and canonized by the legion of Yankee fans didn’t get it done like in 97 and 01……
Steve, my Yankee cynicism developed during the non playoff Mattingly years. To be a Yankee fan during that time…..one saw other teams in the division go to and win World Series (Detroit, Baltimore, Toronto) and the Yanks didn’t even make the playoffs let alone the big game. Oakland appeared in so many world series, Kansas City (hated rival of the Yanks back then) even won a World Series, the Red Sox even made the playoffs in that period(and we all remember what happened in 1986). The Yanks went from being “The Team” to just a team during that time.
OnceIWasAYankeeFan wrote:
No, I got it – that you were saying I’ve become a “expect the worst, even in good times” fan after just a few bad post-season experiences.
To that, I can just offer that you don’t fully understand how bad the 2004 ALCS was for some Yankees fans. Actually, in terms of the Yanks-Sox rivalry thing, for me, for a Yankees fan, it was the worst possible thing that could have happened, etc. It would have been one thing to get beat, 4 games to 1, or, even, if the series was tied at 2 games each and then the Sox went on to win…
But, to lose 4 in a row, esp when they had Games 4 and 5 in their hand…that’s just terrible…the absolute worst.
And, then, the next year, to get beat by the Angels, in 5, in the ALDS – - and then get spanked in the ALDS the next year by the Tigers, with the whole A-Rod thing….
Hey, it’s just not three bad Octobers in a row….it’s the worst October possible, for a Yankees fan, followed by two other somewhat embarrassing Octobers…
Dude, that stuff leaves a mark, you know?
What say we don’t talk about “stuff that leaves a mark”, OK?
Steve,
As someone said earlier, very thoughtful post – one I can relate to on many levels. I have been a Yankee fans since 1971 but did not live in NY full time until 2000. I still caught a lot of games in person, on the road and at home including many of the playoff games from 96 forward. Moving from California to NY in 2000 made it possible for me to watch every game live from the start. Even when Directv started showing games out of market in the late ’90s, a 4pm Pacific start limited me to catching the end of the game or watching the replay. I was an early fa of watching the game on the internet, which back then was like watching a teletype machine.
I also soon realized that my mood was dramatically impacted by what happened in the game. And after the run we had from 1995 through 2000, I really expected a win almost every game. Being able to watch every night and read every morning made it much worse.
Since losing game 7 in Phoenix, I have battled with the obsession. I frequently “watch” games on MLB gameday (like I used to in California) even when I am home and can flick on YES. It is less stressful for me. I DVR the game and check to see how we are doing online before watching the action on TV. Even my wife, who suffered when my mood went south after a loss, said that it wasn’t healthy to like a team so much you couldn’t watch them.
So I think I can relate to the scar tissue you have built up which may dampen the joy of a Yankee win.
But I confess that the comment regarding “Red Sox syndrome” is also probably closer to the mark that you may realize. I know it is with me. In some lucid moments of self reflection, I realized that if I set the threshold of happiness with the Yanks at World Series win, I was set up for failure. In fact, even expecting a pennant or a division series win was a high bar. I didn’t want to start sounding like my Sawx friends who required years and years of built up followed by crushing let down to become so pessimistic.
In addition to the expectations set by our wins, a lot of the Yankee “win the Series or else” comes from their budget. But since our run through 2001, look at the number of different teams that won the seies. Look how they won – what their strengths were, and how many people would have picked them to be the winner in August let alone in March. Its clear that even with money and organizational smarts, putting a championship team together is only partially within the control of the team itself.
So I have tried to change my definition of success. Last year, I was prepared to miss the playoffs provided we focused on building a team of players I wanted to root for, especially home grown talent. I was dissappointed when we made a brief pre-trade deadline run and became buyers instead of sellers at the deadline. How would our bullpen and starting rotation look today with Karstens and Ohlendorf still in the organization – either to actually play or as resources to trade? Hindsight is twenty twenty I know but had we really realized we were out of it, we would not have gone for Nady. So in the end, I was doubly disappointed last year – no playoffs and no progress towards a better team for 2009.
This year, I am afraid, is more of the same in many ways. We added three huge contracts stars who will be given zero margin for error. They join the highest paid athlete in the sport – a player already hard to root for and skilled at making it worse. So far, it has worked well, better than I expectred. But I have no idea what will happen in the last two months of the season. That is not surprising – I don’t think any serious fan of any MLB team can be confident what is going to happen to their team.
So I will cheer the wins, really cheer the progress of players who could be the future core of another great team and chalk up the losses to the fact that a great team does it 4 out of 10 time they play. I will curse Girardi for playing Ransom, for resting A-Rod during day gays when he can actually hit ball instead or at night, and cheer loudly when Cano walks.
@ John ONeil: John – thanks for a great post. Glad someone else knows where I’m coming from here!
OnceIWasAYankeeFan wrote:
LOL
Yankee fans have bought George’s dictum of a season is a failure w/o a WS win. Yes, ’04 was awful. Worst ever. Followed by ’01. But, the rest haven’t bothered me. Short PS are crap shoots, aided and abetted by Arod who can’t hit in the clutch when it really counts.
So, I just enjoy the fun of getting to see almost all the games from April through Sept. And a bonus if they play some more in Oct. Baseball is the greatest in that there’s a game almost every day for 6 months. 162 games. No other sport comes close. I’m bummed on the few days when there isn’t a game.
I feel privledged to have seen so many of my favorites play for such long periods in Yankee uniforms. Jeter, Mo, Jorge, O’Neill, Cone, Mattingly, the end of Mickey’s career. I spent a good part of my life watching and listening to Phil.
Winning the WS is great but it’s not the be-all and end-all. ’96 was my favorite WS win, in part, because it had been so many years since the last one, and because it wasn’t expected. Start expecting it every year and your bound to be disappointed. And maybe that’s why you feel the way you do now, Steve.
butchie22 wrote:
Which speaks to the law of averages. For all the times that Mo was lights out, eventually there would be a time that he wasn’t.
redbug wrote:
Yes, but this isn’t a recent phenomenon. Steinbrenner has had a “WS or bust” dictum since he bought the team. All the moves he made, the money spent, the ill-advised trades, the managerial firings, were with that dictum in mind.
2004 stunned me, but like I mentioned before, it was the law of averages evening out. How many times over the years did the Yanks break the hearts of Red Sox fans? From Babe Ruth to Aaron Boone, the record has overwhelmingly been in the Yanks’ favor.
1995 hurt more, because of Mattingly, 2001 hurt more than 1995 & 2004 combined. It really would’ve been nice from a karmic standpoint, if the Yanks won the series in 2001. And having a 3-2 lead going back to AZ, especially with the way they won games 4 & 5, AND Pettitte and Clemens (with Johhny Wholestaff backing Clemens), I thought the Yanks would be able to pull it off.
Same as you, Steve. The losses hurt more than the victories are joyous. Part of the problem is high expectations. When they win, it’s “wipe the brow, phew, at least they won. They’re SUPPOSED to win”. When they lose it’s “OMG, what’s wrong, this cannot be”. During prolonged losing streaks I actually force myself to avoid the scoreboard, thereby getting a decent (not great) night’s sleep. I fully realize that baseball is only entertainment…..but I admit that the fortunes of the Yankees greatly affect my daily existence. I’m one big sourpuss when the Yanks lose.
I once heard an old line about the difference between Yankees fans and Mets fans.
The Yankees can go 100-62 and all the Yankees fan wants to know is what happened in those 62 losses.
The Mets can go 62-100 and the Mets fan is happy that they manged to win 62 games.
Not sure if the thing still applies to Mets fans, but, for many Yankees fans, it’s still all about having high expectations.
[...] basically, since 1975, I’ve been a Yankees fanatic. As such, as I have shared before, I take Yankees losses pretty bad – especially in the post-season. And, until the last three [...]