Via Kevin Baxter:
Ten days after the New York Times reported Ortiz’s name was on the list of players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, 10 days after pledging not to “hide” or “make excuses,” Ortiz essentially did both.
Rather than coming clean, [David] Ortiz took the easy way out, blaming the test results on nutritional supplements and vitamins he bought over the counter.
Rather than keeping his promise to reveal what he tested positive for, Ortiz took cover behind Michael Weiner, the top lawyer for the players’ association, who said the union cannot give out that information.
How convenient.
“I definitely was a little bit careless back in those days when I was buying supplements, vitamins over the counter. Legal supplements, legal vitamins over the counter,” Ortiz said. “But I never buy steroids or use steroids.”
And what were the supplements he bought, legally and over the counter?
“No idea,” he said.
Well, whatever they were, they sure worked. Because the year before Ortiz failed his drug test, he was released by the Minnesota Twins after two seasons in which he combined to hit 38 homers and drive in 123 runs. In each of the three seasons after testing positive, Ortiz hit no fewer than 41 homers and drove in at least 137 runs.
That proves nothing, of course. But then neither did Ortiz’s news conference, during which he repeatedly admitted to being “clueless,” “careless” and “confused.”
Which still left him more forthcoming than Weiner, whose lawyerly explanations and accompanying two-page news release made it clear the union will never agree to release the names of players who failed baseball drug tests in 2003, as several prominent players and managers have requested.
So, Big Papi is playing the J.C. Romero card on this one, as opposed to the Mark “Not Going To Talk About The Past” McGwire card, or the Sammy “No Habla Ingles” Sosa card, or the Roger “Deny, Deny, Deny” Clemens card, or the Alex “Young, Dumb, And Naive” Rodriguez card, or the Andy “Yup, I Did It” Pettitte card…
…that’s fine. But, Ortiz better be careful…because if he has a Brian-McNamee-type in his past who suddenly crawls out of a hole, or, if something comes out with Angel Presinal that paints a different picture of what when down with him, then Big Papi will have to call up Rafael Palmeiro and ask him if there’s room for two over at his mountain cave in the Tora Bora area of Afghanistan…because, then, the spit will really hit the hands…um…I mean…the poop will really hit the Crocker & Curtis…
8 Responses to “Big Papi: Blame It On The Gee-Gee-Gee-Gee-Gee-Gee-En-See”
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August 9th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Love the headline and your knowledge of popular music, Steve. Color me impressed
August 9th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Well, whatever they were, they sure worked. Because the year before Ortiz failed his drug test, he was released by the Minnesota Twins after two seasons in which he combined to hit 38 homers and drive in 123 runs. In each of the three seasons after testing positive, Ortiz hit no fewer than 41 homers and drove in at least 137 runs.
I hate lazy reporting… Reading that, you’d never know that he actually did hit as a Twin, or broke his wrist twice while playing for the Twins…
August 9th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
@ clintfsu813: The perks (?) of spending 105 to 180 minutes a day, five days a week, sitting in traffic, listening to the radio…
August 9th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Steve Lombardi wrote:
LOL
and on top of that, they play songs in heavy rotation, so you’ll hear those songs at least 4 times within an hour. And it’s not like you can get away from it switching to another pop station. I remember hearing Rhianna’s “Please Don’t Stop the Music” no less than 10 times driving up from Philly a while back.
August 9th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Interestingly enough I came down with bronchitis a few weeks ago. The doctor prescribed a couple of medications which I took to the drug store to be filled. When I was handed the white bag with my meds I was asked if I would like to have them explained to me. Well, no one had ever asked me that before—they usually just give me my pills and that is it—so I said “Okay.”
The pharmacist came out and pulled a bottle of pills from the bag. “These are antibiotics. You take 2 a day with meals—say breakfast and supper—for ten days. And these,” she said, pulling a box out, “are steroids—–”
August 9th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
@ Tresh Fan:
You know the famous cortisone shots that the players take? well they are actually a steroid hormone.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:34 am
I was kinda surprised Ortiz didn’t play the”I don’t speak english card.” I give him credit for being so public BUT something about his story still feels off.
@Raf, stop listening to top 40 radio! Try college radio instead……..
August 10th, 2009 at 1:40 am
Butchie, if it were up to me, I’d only listen to the radio for traffic reports and ballgames, if at all. Unfortunately, my copilots like to listen to that top 40 crap…