Earlier today, I was asked the following question: “Are you able to enjoy Yankee wins?”
Before I answer that, I’m going to take a step back, to a year and a half ago, when some accusations were made towards my “fandom” of the Yankees. At that time, I shared that WasWatching.com prides itself in being “Yankees-blinders and Pinstripe-Pollyanna” free – but, that should not be confused with me not being a fan of the Yankees. And, I hope this new question is not some insinuation that I’m not a Yankees fan, etc.
Anyone who wants to debate or challenge me being a Yankees fan can go can scratch themselves, as far as I’m concerned. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an ardent fan of the Yankees, a zealot, and then some… And, asking me if I’m a fan of the Yankees is like asking if Dolly Parton sleeps on her back – meaning it’s something I view as a rhetorical question since the answer is so obvious that it does not require a reply.
Getting back to “Are you able to enjoy Yankee wins?,” I’ll be honest and share that my answer to that question today is different than it would have been in the past.
When the Yankees lose, I’m not a happy-camper, to say the least. In fact, a Yankees loss is a disturbance to my well-being. After a Yankees loss, to put it bluntly, I’m irritated. When it happens, I find myself anguished. It’s stressing. You know how it’s said that men need a “man cave” to go to when they’re stressed? Well, for me, it’s true. When the Yankees lose, right after it happens, those close to me know that it’s best to leave me alone so that I can go to my “cave” – which, for the last five years has been writing this blog – and work out my perturbation. However, that said, venting via blogging doesn’t always work – and, when the Yankees lose, there are many times when I can’t sleep at night because I’m too upset about it.
I’ve felt this way about Yankees losses since I became a fan of the team in 1973. And, in all these years, it has never changed.
Now, some may say this is not “normal” or “healthy”? And, while I understand that, I would offer that those saying it do not understand what it’s like to “live and die” with a sports team that you fervently follow. It’s just the nature of the beast, as far as I am concerned.
However, my “state” following a Yankees win, as mentioned herein, has changed.
In the past, a Yankees win basically brought on the opposite effect of what would follow a Yankees loss. It’s like Billy Martin once said: “Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls are prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener.” For me, back in the day, like Martin, a Yankees win was a pleasure enhancer.
Remember when Phil Rizzuto announced the death of Pope Paul VI and then said “Well, that kind of puts the damper on even a Yankee win”? Many probably write that off to “Scooter being Scooter.” But, not me – as I understood where Phil was coming from there. A Yankees win, for me, would almost always, somehow, manage to take “the damper” off something…a Yankees win was a natural elixir…unless it was something “major” that not even a Yankees win could fix.
I’ve felt this way about Yankees wins since I became a fan of the team in 1973…until something happened between October 2004 and October 2005. At least that’s when I think it happened? It was after September 2004, for sure. But, maybe it happened between October 2004 and October 2006? It’s possible. I know, for certain, that it didn’t happen after October 2007. So, maybe I should say it happened between October 2004 and September 2007? I dunno…it’s hard to pinpoint…at this junction.
Bascially, I still “enjoy” Yankees wins now because a “win” is not a “loss” – and I still react very badly to Yankees losses. It’s a “positive” in the sense that it’s the absence of a “negative.” However, I no longer derive exhilaration from a Yankees win – the way that I once did in the past.
Why is this? When forced to think about it, the only conclusion I can offer is that the disappointments and pain from the Yankees Octobers of 2004, 2005, and 2006 have caused the build up of a callous on the Yankees pleasure center in my brain…and, instead of making me emotionally hardened and providing an indifference to suffering, it’s brought cause for me to become somewhat non-responsive to Yankees wins…where my reaction is not the same as it used to be… Perhaps, in my mind, thanks to the Yankees regular and post-seasons of 2004 and 2005 (and maybe 2006 too) I now see Yankees regular season wins as a Trojan Horse…in the sense that they are a desirable outcome, but, in fact, they are a trick that facilitates future broken promises and dreams, and the arrival of suffering, down the line when October comes?
Maybe, after the Yankees bad endings in 2004, 2005, 2006, etc., I just need a Yankees World Championship to cleanse my palate, and remove that aforementioned callous… Well, at the least, it couldn’t hurt, right?
In any event, to the question “Are you able to enjoy Yankee wins?,” the answer is: Yes, especially when the alternative is enduring a Yankees loss. However, today, I don’t enjoy them as much as I used to…because, lately, Yankees regular season wins have provided a ring-tease experience which has left me somewhat dulled by the eventual deficiency that follows in Yankeeland.
