My house this morning…at the breakfast table…
Me: (To family…wife, 6-year old son, 8-year old daughter) Hey, guys, the Yankees lost last night.
Daughter: What was the score?
Me: Three to two.
Daughter: That was close. Just one run.
Son: Were there any grand slams?
Me: Dude, we talked about this. How many runs score on a grand slam?
Me: No. Four. Remember?
Son: Oh, yeah.
Me: So, if neither team scored four runs, how could there have been any grand slams?
Son: (Laughing) Oh, I get it…
Me: Hey, the Yankees got two new players yesterday.
Son: What are their names?
Me: Austin Kearns and Lance Berkman. Do you know what Lance Berman’s nickname is? It’s “Fat Elvis.”
Wife: (Motioning to son) Why would you tell him that?
Son: What numbers will they wear?
Wife: Now, that’s a good question.
Me: I dunno, we’ll have to wait and see when they show up.
Son: Will it be five and six?
Me: No, those are saved for Joe DiMaggio and Joe Torre.
Wife: “Saved?” Don’t you mean retired?
Me: Well, DiMaggio is retired. But, they didn’t retire Torre yet. They’re saving it.
Wife: Saving it for what? They should just retire it.
Me: They can’t now – there’s too much bad blood.
Me: No. Really. Once the bad blood dies down, then, they’ll retire it.
Wife: Oh, my, god. How “kindergarten” is that?
Yup, this is how we roll in my house in the morning…how about you?